Secret

Technically an update page.. but not really..

Update: Enter the Dragon... Kong

Alright, so I dropped a new game called Dragon Kong. Started as a goof to clown on my buddy, but kinda morphed into somethin' playable, go figure.

Yeah, it's basically like that old ape game, but with dragons..and Indians..except not really a dragon.. Original? Nah. Fun? Maybe, depends on how low your standards are.

Play it or don't..whatever..

Update: April Fools

Added a couple retarded games: a flight simulator and an offroader.

Also fixed up the annoying ass sound on the stupid race car game (the old one, not this new one)

Added a full screen mode to the new games and a couple old ones (slugs and stupid race car game)

Also fixed a little bit of a scrolling/zooming issue the game canvas was having with the webpage.

Have fun..or don't..i don't care..

Update: El Marcho Quinceanera, 1996

Another big edit to the game Ssssslugs!

it can now be played with up to 8 players, and up to 8 slugs per team. That's 64 slugs!

You can import your own images to play on (PNG. Transparency counts as playable area)

Added a waterline, some death effects and some improvement to projectile physics and wind effect on the bazooka.

You'll notice some bugs here and there. Deal with it..

I'm having a hard time resolving those bugs..or rather the AI is. I keep telling it what's wrong but it's too dumb to fix them!@#$!@%#!@

Update: El Marcho Nueve, 2025

Hate the idea of taking this too seriously, but maybe some backlog info for myself isn't a bad idea.

Made some major improvements to Ssssslugs!

Terrain was previously generated like a graph on a calculator: in other words it was cool if your a loser nerd with a TI-83 calculator

NOW it's a bitmap! Or at least that's how the idiot AI described it to me. It's more in line with that one game that made inverterbrate warfare famous.

As a result, explosions are cooler now because they leave a round crater instead of that stupid V shape they did on the graphing calculator-style map.

Physics have been improved. Sound has been added. Map is 50% wider. General debugging and improvement of projectiles and slugs.

Update: 80085

I've been gradually improving Ssssslugs!..or rather, i've made the AI improve it.

Fixed some things like camera movement, edge boundaries, and added a CPU opponent (it's really dumb).

It's still garbage but it's almost starting to feel like an actual game, if you squint really hard..

Update: Poop

Ok MAAAYBE i can try to update this page every now and then..not that you'll find any useful information here.

Added a game called Ssssslugs!..NOT to be confused with Worms. I never even heard of the game Worms! Sounds like a stupid game..

It's garbage

Update: Seven Point Six

She sells seashells on the seashore, but the seashells she sells on the seashore are not seashore shells, i'm sure.

Update: 12506.2

Figured out how to get the website online (a miracle, considering i'm an imbecile). Added a bunch of excrements that i'm trying to pass off as "AI games"

Update: -7.6

Why are you still here? This page is meaningless. Nothing is ever gonna happen here. You're wasting your time, and mine too cuz i'm writing this dumb shit

Update: 1.1

That's right, the AI made this site for me..what..you really think i'm going to learn how do so something when i can just beat an AI and force it to do it? Get outta here!

Update: 1.0

lol..updates..the AI added this page. As if i'll ever use it..